The eclipse

Today some of the pain belongs to this fever. Whatever is left has been living inside me for the last two and a half months.

Sometimes I wonder how much pain a human being is meant to carry.

Every morning, I wake up with a new emotion. My heart goes in spiral, searching for answers, I know, I cannot ask for anymore.

It keeps hoping that tomorrow will feel different, yet every tomorrow brings another kind of waiting and yearning.

The yearning. The crying. The endless questions. The desperate moments when you ask your own heart to stop hurting.

Some days, you get up and on a very random day, you want the heart to stop the pain. The pain of everything.

Maybe none of it is wasted. Maybe it is all witnessed by God.

Maybe the stars are still fighting and finding their places. Maybe one day… one fine day, the universe will finally be ready to answer the questions my heart keeps asking….

Until then, let me carry the pain.

Tonight, my head aches from this cold, but even more from the spiral of emotions, I cannot put down.

The world has gone into an eclipse.

And all I can do is hope that, this eclipse is over soon….